Yvonne Tally talks about her new book, “Breaking Up with Busy”
I know from personal and professional experience that with the right tools, you can use the holidays as an opportunity to rise above old family patterns, dial down the drama and grow into a stronger, more loving person in the process. Here are my best tips for doing just that:
1. Love the Goblins: We have our wounded egos to thank for all that stuff that comes up during holiday gatherings—the drama, anger, judgment, resentment, criticism, competition, victimization, abandonment, shame, and so on. If you’re familiar with my work and have read my book – The Map, you might remember that the Goblin is the character I use to represent this wounded ego we all have. Filled with repressed emotions and experiences (often from childhood), our Goblins try to protect us by repeating false ideas and patterns, as if to prove to us that they are true. Holidays are one of the prime party seasons for our Goblins—they just love to come out and get together over drinks to bicker! The good news is that when you love a Goblin, you put it to sleep. In other words, when your mom snaps at you, remember it’s her Goblin and send love to that wounded part of her that longs to be acknowledged. And, if your sister gives you the once over and you find yourself automatically assuming that she must be thinking you’ve gained weight, once again, recognize this is your Goblin’s assumption. Send love to that wounded part of you and let it go.